Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
