I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
