We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
