i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize