Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize