Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
