just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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