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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sorry. Im on my way.

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• (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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• (661): View more from California

  Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..

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• (406): View more from Montana

  We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.

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