how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
