This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
the raccoons are back...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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