You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Porn is love you can see.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
