Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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