Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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