i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize