guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
