that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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