Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You made out with two different species that night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
