u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
