nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Two words: blizzard sex
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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