Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
