You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
