I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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