My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
