She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
