theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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