He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize