why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
