she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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