Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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