So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
