Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
