i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
