am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Randomize