butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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