so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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