How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
