umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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