I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
