we're blogging at a bar
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
pray to the hookup gods
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
