Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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