So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
