it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize