...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
