Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
