You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
