So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
