Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
