3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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