Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
