i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
