some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My bed smells like the plague
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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