just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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