don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
