omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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