Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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