I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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