dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
