we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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