I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
