the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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